Chapter Text
taehyun wonders if it’s strange to break up with someone at a funeral.
it depends, really, on the people all involved. he’s been dating judy marks for a few weeks, just after kai and mary may got engaged. but just barely a month later, of course, he died.
judy also knew the impact it had on taehyun. they didn’t really speak, he could barely hold a conversation with anyone the first few days. inconsolable, was how beomgyu described him.
following that, he only saw his girlfriend twice before the funeral. judy came over unannounced, cooked his dinner, and then they tried to have sex. taehyun ended up crying.
the second time he saw judy was two days before the funeral, she needed help buying mourning clothes.
in the boutique, taehyun was not much help. he just told judy everything looked good on her.
“flattery gets you nowhere,” she teased.
“can’t help it if everything really does look good on you.”
at that point, he had yet to decide he was going to break up with her. taehyun kind of figured judy marks was a lovely girl and he could make this work, he could marry her and this could all be alright. stick to the plan.
the funeral, that changed things.
this was before the memorial was being shot, so beomgyu was not ticked at taehyun. he stuck beside taehyun the entire service, judy on his opposite side.
“closed casket,” beomgyu had commented. “thank god, i would hate to look at him like this.”
taehyun hummed. “you’re telling me,” he said. the last thing tyun needed was the image of kai’s dead body in his head.
during the wake, that’s when taehyun made his rash, split-second decision.
he watches, with beomgyu and yeonjun, everyone give condolences to mary may. taehyun, for the first time, is grateful that no one knew he and kai were married. to be told over and over the same i’m so sorry for your loss, he would go mad.
“i’m surprised no one has said anything to you,” beomgyu says. “plenty of people here know how close you two were.”
“i’m not his girlfriend,” taehyun said, tasting blood. “best friends don’t get anything.”
“i think you two were more than just best friends. right?” says yeonjun, giving taehyun a sideways look.
taehyun stiffens and wills yeonjun to shut his trap.
“practically brothers!” continues beomgyu. “taehyun, how are you feeling?” he asks, genuinely.
“oh- well—“ he spots judy in the crowd. taehyun turns to beomgyu. “excuse me,” he says.
taehyun manages to get judy somewhere secluded, an empty hallway where he doesn’t think anyone can hear them. judy asks if something is wrong.
“yes, there is,” he admits. “and it’s- god, it’s got nothing to do with you, seriously.”
“oh?” judy asks. “tae, what’s the matter?”
“i don’t think this is working,” taehyun says, way too fast.
judy holds her composure well enough. “we- so you’re… breaking us up?”
he sighs. “yes.”
she tries to joke. “were you only keeping me around as a wedding date?”
it’s the right drop of dark humor that relieves taehyun. he sighs again. “no, really. it’s just… there’s so much going on right now… i don’t think i can do this.”
judy nods. “oh… i see…” she pauses. “it… was fun, though. i really liked you, taehyun.”
“maybe we can still be friends?” he asks.
“yeah… maybe.”
something tells him they won’t still be friends.
yeonjun had been kai’s agent through thick and thin, he recruited him the second he and taehyun touched down in california and continued to be, not only a great friend, but a fantastic agent.
he knew - kind of, in a paper-thin way that would never be spoken about properly - about taehyun and kai.
not the the true extent of things, but he knew.
one year married, one year into building kai’s career. in his empty dressing room, taehyun and kai got handsy.
the pair of them were usually so careful. they never even stood too close to each other outside the comfort of their home. it’s hard to pinpoint the reason why they fell into each other the way they did this time, but taehyun and kai were sitting on the loveseat in kai’s dressing room, all over each other.
taehyun was kissing kai hard, sloppily and rough. they were seriously making a real mess of each other. neither of them really considered how suspicious they’ll look - bruised, swollen lips and looking so disheveled. kai had taehyun’s button-down shirt opened, leaving open mouth kisses on his torso, just as taehyun laid flat and allowed kai to climb on top of him.
yeonjun caught them like this, with kai rolling his hips against taehyun’s own. the two subsequently froze like that, staring down kai’s agent with the same look a deer in the road might give.
he shut the door, softly, still in the room. yeonjun cleared his throat awkwardly. “what’s-” he begins, but stops. “kai, taehyun… i’m- i’m not-” he says. “needed some relief, huh?”
yeonjun chalked this up to some spur of the moment, sexual encounter, that came from pent up venereal frustration. he managed to hiss at the pair of them to not do something like this again, especially on set. taehyun couldn’t tell whether yeonjun wanted to beat them both down for acting queer, but refrained ‘cause kai was getting so famous.
they never really spoke about it again - even whenever yeonjun popped over to kai’s west hollywood villa and saw them intertwined, half-dressed, hickies hiding under their collars. or even more intimate moments, sitting too close to each other on the sofa, their personal items sharing space, accidentally wearing each other’s clothes.
yeonjun never said anything, but taehyun always wondered if kai’s suggestion that taehyun move into the house next door was his own idea. likewise with all the dating. he wonders how much they really horrified yeonjun.
taehyun picked up mary may after she finished filming her piece. he didn’t drive a lot, taehyun preferred to walk most of the time. but, he picks mary may up and suggests they get something to eat.
in a restaurant similar to the one taehyun had just been at with beomgyu - it’s only similar because of the various celebrities taehyun spots, a good handful stopping to give mary may condolences, while giving taehyun polite head nods.
taehyun ends up ordering whatever it is that mary may had, a stew dish with roasted vegetables and wild rice. the bowl itself looked bigger than mary may. she takes a bite of broth-soaked rice and looks at taehyun. “y’know, judy just told me you two broke up,” she says. “at the wake, huh?”
the wake because there’s no other wakes they’ve been to recently. kai’s wake does not need to be said. for a moment, taehyun wishes he could kiss kai. right then and there, he wants to kiss kai.
instead, taehyun lights a cigarette. “yeah. lots going on. i don’t think dating right now is good for me.”
all taehyun really wants to do is mourn his husband. no, that’s a lie. he wants to kiss him. he can almost feel kai’s lips on his.
“makes sense,” mary may continues. she scans the restaurant for a moment before looking back at taehyun. “she asked me if there was somethin’ goin’ on with us.”
it takes every ounce of strength to not outright laugh at that. “god, so she thinks i broke up with her because i’m going for you? kai just died.”
she nods. “i told her there’s absolutely nothing. c’mon, there’s just… nothing! you feel a bit more like one of my girlfriends than anythin’,” mary may says casually. “i mean- you’re still- i don’t mean you’re a girl, but--”
“no, no, i get it…” taehyun takes a puff of his cigarette. he offers it to mary may, who takes it. he’s a queer man. he’s never posed himself as a possibility to her. mary may might not know the truth, but she can probably tell to some degree. “you were my best friend’s girl, i would never make a move on you,” he says.
“i think she’s just a little sad about the break up, she said it happened out of nowhere.”
“so did kai,” is all taehyun says.
mary may takes an extra long drag of the cigarette. “yeah,” she says. “i miss him.”
“yeah,” says taehyun. “me too.”